A bold statement: Marriage, once a pinnacle of life's achievements, is now a complex and often daunting prospect for many young Indonesians.
A decade ago, Talitha Rarasty, a makeup artist, viewed marriage as the ultimate goal, a template for a successful life. But as she approaches 36, she finds herself single, a reality shared by many of her peers.
The statistics paint a clear picture: marriage rates among young Indonesians have been on a steady decline for over a decade. In 2014, 2.1 million Indonesians tied the knot, but by 2024, this number had plummeted to just 1.47 million. As of December, less than 30% of Indonesians aged 16 to 30 were married, according to the country's Central Statistics Agency.
Desintha Dwi Asriani, a sociologist, sheds light on this shift. She explains that marriage is no longer solely about a wedding and having children. The economic realities of housing, raising children, and daily expenses have made people cautious, feeling that marriage requires substantial financial resources.
But here's where it gets controversial: despite the economic challenges, marriage is still 'encouraged' in Indonesia, where religion and culture play significant roles. Dr. Asriani notes that marriage is seen as a marker of maturity and moral standing, and the family is considered a crucial institution for instilling nationalist values and religious teachings.
And this is the part most people miss: the fear and doubt surrounding marriage. Online dating, a popular method, has its fair share of problems. Ms. Rarasty, for instance, tried dating apps but quit after repeatedly encountering married men or those already in relationships. The negative experiences online have sparked a trend on social media, particularly TikTok, with users expressing their fears of being cheated on, neglected, or simply meeting the wrong person.
Relationship coach Rastrianez adds that the abundance of options on dating apps can be overwhelming, leading to overthinking and hesitation.
As a result, many young Indonesians are turning away from dating apps and exploring alternative approaches. One such strategy is the innovative 'CV display' in shopping centers, where matchmaking services like Cindo Match exhibit profiles of single individuals. Artificial intelligence generates images of these individuals, and customers pay to view their real images and contact details.
Cindo Match's co-founder, Angeline Chandra, says their face-to-face matchmaking events have been surprisingly successful, with at least 40 couples dating and two marriages resulting from their services. Most of their clients, millennials, prefer offline interactions, citing scams and limited time for activities other than work as reasons for avoiding dating apps.
The government has also stepped in to support those who cannot afford to marry, organizing mass weddings funded by the Ministry of Religion. These events provide dowries, food packages, wedding gifts, and even free hotel stays and startup funds for new businesses.
However, Dr. Asriani believes that the government needs to analyze and discuss the institution of marriage more broadly, considering the shifting societal views on marriage.
Ms. Rarasty, despite her desire to marry, has come to terms with her single life. She believes that her time will come, and until then, she's content to enjoy her life as a single woman.
What are your thoughts on the evolving nature of marriage and the challenges faced by young Indonesians? Do you think the government's efforts are enough, or should there be a broader societal discussion on marriage and its appeal?
